Past : Future (Thought 2)

Saddness : Excitement

leaving my parents and grandparents:
not dating Sonja b/c we never lived in the same city:
my dear friends in Chicago:
a city i am comfortable in:
snow:
the less complicated life of sports and going to college:
visiting my lovely Kansas every three months:
9am basketball with my buddies:
rudy's pizza:

:a chance to do what I think I'm made to do

I was talking with Josh today and I said to him, "You know, it feels like the whole LA thing kinda happened to me... like I don't have much choice about it, but it fell in my lap and it was done right then." Josh compared it to maybe being like when we learn about God and what He's done for us... before you learn about it, it's pretty easy to deny it or live in partial/full ignorance of the grace and glory of God. Once you learn about it... man, what are you supposed to do? How can you turn that down?
I don't know if I'd put this on the same level as that, but maybe I would. Here is a choice that I can't turn down, that I won't turn down or let go, and I never want to, or feel like that not going is an option.
Why?
I can see what's behind me, the wake of my life. It's beautiful. The colors are beautiful in a subtle but really intricate way. I can't see what's in front of me, and I'm okay with that. The ship (the sea, the sky, each particle that keeps the boat even floating) is beyond me, bigger than me, and I love that.